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Resilience Journal | Issue #010 | Feb 12, 2009 |
Dear Friends
This week’s journal is about choosing to be happy. Increased productivity and creativity result from choosing happiness. We are pleased to offer this very issue of the Resilience Journal in VIDEO form as well. Also visit our blog and new site for FR*EE Video tutorials on "How to create a meaningful life"
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
 Living From Presence (Pymander Book Shop, Norwalk, CT)
Join us on
Feb 21, 2008, 2 - 4 PM, for a thought provoking and inspiritional workshop that takes the focus from beyond surviving to thriving.
Author's Roundtable (Border's Fairfield, CT)
We invite you to meet Neerja on Mar 18, 2009 at 7 PM EST, for a book signing and keynote at Borders, Fairfield, CT.
Women's Weekend Retreat
Women's Retreat, Journey to Resilience, Creating Enlightened Leaders held at the Blue Mountain Retreat Center last year was very well received. The dates for the upcoming women's retreat are Mar 14 & 15, 2009. Click here for details
Thank you for being a part of our growing community.
Neerja
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Happiness is a choice
Why not choose happiness
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‘There are two ways to look at life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.’ ~ Albert Einstein
When we begin to look at life through the eyes of happiness then everything is seen as a miracle. In each moment we are capable of choosing happiness and yet we find ourselves slipping away from it.
What ideas have we bought into that create anything other than happiness?
What rules do we live by that instigate the opposite of happiness?
What are the underlying beliefs that induce anything other than happiness?
Let us take a closer look at the ideas, rules and beliefs that block our happiness.
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I woke up this morning and sat down to gain some clarity and focus for the day. With so much going on, it helps to bring the attention to where the heart’s energy wants to flow. Today my heart did not want to focus on marketing or new information for research or anything that would make good business sense and create results. Today, my heart wanted to focus on being happy.
FIRST ENCOUNTER
So I got ready and walked into the kitchen to have my morning coffee and realized the milk had gone bad. I felt a little stressed and then I remembered what the focus for the day was, as soon as the intention for happiness returned to my consciousness, instead of running off to buy milk, I chose to find happiness without the coffee. I found myself very content with a tall glass of water. The idea of starting the day without coffee causes pain, however; the truth is that without the idea, I am complete in this moment. That was my first encounter with choosing happiness, very simple and straight forward, however; the intensity grew with the encounters that followed…
SECOND ENCOUNTER
Each time I am approached with a business opportunity I like to include a friend who is experienced and has helped me with my business in the past. I feel good to include him and obtain his feedback. The opportunity presented itself this morning for me to fail miserably in making a connection with him. I felt the anxiety rise and I continued to focus on happiness and realized that the rule ‘I must gain his expertise, approval or inclusion in new endeavors’ is flawed. I must learn to let go of my need to gain approval of highly regarded friends. Wow, what freedom this insight brought for me!
It is close to 10:30 am and by focusing on happiness, I have already released two rules from my borrowed or hand me down book of rules.
1. My morning does not have to begin with coffee, a nice shimmering glass of water is wonderful
2. I do not have to gain approval for new projects; I am able to rely on my inner wisdom.
I knew I could not wrap up my happiness exercise so quickly, after all it was only 10:30 am and the final encounter threw me off my balance. This one involved an age old challenge between mothers and daughters. My daughter threw a fit at me for something I had zero control over. My motherly ego flared up and I reacted by letting her know that her behavior will not be tolerated. In other words I was letting her know to not forget that I brought her into this world? As soon as I remembered my purpose for the day, I recognized I had made a detour and it was time to check in with the underlying rules, ideas and beliefs about mothering. The rule has been passed down from generations: “Thou shalt respect your parents”. Yes, absolutely, however; where is the written rule that thou shalt respect your children?
Hmmm, now I think I was beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I was immediately able to throw away my defense mechanism and was able to communicate with my daughter in a loving way and attend to her reactions that were stemming from uncertainty. |
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Choose happiness for yourself today!
Each time something brings stress, resistance or anxiety, become open and willing to look at the underlying rules, ideas and beliefs that inhibit happiness.
Following is a ‘choosing happiness’ model:
A challenging situation that brings up a negative emotion
1. Write out the challenging situation
Let us take the 2nd encounter as an example for this exercise.
The challenge was my friend was short and disapproving of my invitation to him. We have been friends for seven years and he is the most supporting person I have come across. On occasions when he is not supportive, I feel disheartened.
2. Awareness of negative emotion:
How do you feel about the situation?
I felt hurt, rejected and disheartened
3. Underlying disabling rule, idea or belief: List disabling rules, ideas or beliefs about the person or the circumstance.
The underlying disabling belief is ‘I do not have the experience he brings to the table’
4. Purpose, objective or goal: What is your purpose, objective or goal at work?
My purpose is happiness
5. Reframe situation with an enabling rule, idea or belief
I may have less years of experience than my friend, however; I bring inner flow of wisdom by being fully present to my clients. That is priceless, fresh and new.
Now, it is your turn, look back at disabling rules, ideas or beliefs and switch them to enabling beliefs.
What are you willing and able to do to keep the enabling beliefs alive?
Choosing happiness lies in how and what we think, why not adjust the thought and be happy!
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Q: Deep inside us lies the passion to conquer the world and reach to heights no one has ever achieved. Then why is it that some of us succeed and some don’t?
A: The answers lie in seeing beyond our conditioning. To conquer the outside world, we must conquer our inside world because our outer world is a reflection of our inner world. Once our inside world is in tune with our true self, our outer world becomes beautiful beyond our imagination. Every circumstance we attract in our life is in direct relation to how we think and feel inside. We must have a good process internally to create great circumstances around us. Two strong emotions, love and fear, run our processes. When fear runs our process, we sabotage our success and when love runs our process we encounter success every step of the way.
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There are two ways to look at life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle ~ Albert Einstein
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