Ask Neerja |
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Q: Is it possible for pessimistic people to become optimistic?
A:
People are not pessimistic or optimistic, it is their view to life that is positive or negative. Having said that, creating a shift on how one views life is absolutely possible. It requires a discipline of conscious awareness. |
Q: Life is full of ups and downs, how do we recover from setbacks?
A: When we have had a setback, following are the three ways to building a bridge to recover:
 LISTEN TO THE FEELINGS:
When a setback creates unpleasant feelings, instead of running away or reacting, sit with the feelings and learn
from the wisdom of what they bring to your attention.
REMEMBER YOUR PURPOSE:
It is ideal to have a sense of purpose. Even if you don't know how it will unfold, creating a vision around your purpose has
the power to move mountains. Hidden within doubt is the function of faith and when vision acts upon doubt, it transforms into power. When in
doubt, shift your attention and focus on your vision or purpose.
RECONNECT TO YOUR NATURAL INTELLIGENCE:
One way of reconnecting effortlessly to our natural intelligence is through daydreaming. It is the art of allowing your
imagination to lead you. Daydreaming creates a trance-like state. We daydream unconsciously on and off throughout
the day; however conscious daydreaming is done with a sense of purpose that allows us to relax, let go of our anxiety,
resolve conflict, gain clarity, and come back with an enhanced state of mind with better solutions.
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Q: How does organizing towards what we are becoming help one be more resilient?
A: The mind needs tools, concepts and theories... as long as the tools do not become a source of distractions or entertainment for the mind we tap into our very nature of resilience. The practice opens the window to the wholeness and who we are. It is about being comfortable with our wholeness and the practice is no other than moment by moment conscious awareness. Breath is the door to awareness, emotional resistance is the alarm exposing the underlying mental models and resilience is the gift of freedom that is born from the dance of chaos and order. |
Q: What elements of resilience practices are useful?
A: There is chaos is order and order in chaos.. What is better: order or chaos? When we see one as a preference over the other, we have separated from what is.
To relay the answer in practical terms, resistance is experienced when we separate ourselves from an idea, person or problem... when we practice being open to the conflict caused by an idea, person or problem, resistance gives way to a new relationship to what once seemed difficult or rather impossible.
The first practice is to be open to what is by staying connected to the whole. For instance, being open to confrontation, sorrow, anger... It is through openness we discover the connection in disconnection... Disconnection exists due to our very own limited perception.
The second practice is optimism - It is rather difficult to be optimistic when we are in the middle of a heated argument. Perhaps the heated argument came about due to the need to be right. In the process of fulfilling the need to be right, we are no longer open to other's view. To take it further, even the experience of resistance in the middle of the heated argument is good – through fully experiencing resistance and staying with it, we gain insights and wisdom into the birthplace of resistance in our emotional body.
The third practice is purpose – this is where the ability to connect the dots is mastered. Not too long ago, I often thought I was special and had a purpose that was bigger than me... today my sense tells me we are all special and we all have a purpose to be an integral part of the webstring of life... to see and experience how we are impacting each other with what we think, feel, say or do. Our purpose is to discover the invisible webstrings... the webstring wide network that we are all a part of... Today my purpose is to stay connected to what is no matter how difficult.
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Q: How should we deal with setbacks?
A: See the setback as a stepping stone. Experience is a profound teacher, we rarely learn anything new from successes and more times than not, previous success can become a barrier to innovation and creativity. Setbacks on the other hand take us to new heights, when we become open and optimistic to learning from the experience. |
Q: How does one discover one's unique self?
A: Here are some recommendations
> The next time you feel angry, guilty, or upset examine where these feelings are coming from. Are you seeing the situation from your past experiences or from a fresh perspective. Remember no person can cause you any pain without your consent.
> Keep a journal and jot down your daily highlights. If you don’t like writing, reflect on your day. We get insights throughout the day to find our uniqueness, but we have to pay attention.
> Remember - thoughts are there for you and you are not there for your thoughts.
> Expect the best and leave the rest.
> Stop comparing - you are unique. There never was and never will be another you.
> Be thankful for what you have.
> Love your unique self.
> Have fun and laugh - a laughter a day keeps the doctor away.
> Always give a smile or blessings from your heart to each and everyone you encounter.
> Take responsibility for your thoughts, words, and actions. Dare to be yourself and ask for what you want - you will get it! |
Q: How do we know what emotion is predominant in our life?
A: From the time we are born our environment, belief system, values, experiences, and influences from others create deeply embedded patterns in our subconscious mind. It is not uncommon for a person who believes that life is a struggle will always attract struggle in his/her life. If you are living with similar recordings from the past, my suggestion would be to create new recordings. Remember your life is a projection related to your internal programming. It is our responsibility to move beyond the conditioning and break away from the patterns to blossom to our unique self.
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Q: I am a person who has many obligations to other people at this time. There is scarcely any time left for me. In fact I cant even remember the last time I did some thing for myself. How does one balance one's obligations with what one loves to do?
A: Just the word 'obligation' has the vibration of tension. Here is my suggestion, change the word obligation to invitation and watch the self creation unfold. |
Q: We cannot make an impact in the society are your views about degeneration in the society and what do can we
do to check that?
A: We cannot make an impact in the society without erasing the inner conflict - the society is in us. We have created the society. We each must do our own work first and come from a place of inner harmony and then we can empower others. So whatever you see in the society, ask yourself how that aspect reflects the person I am.
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Q: What according to you is the root cause of depression and are medicines the answer?
A: Medicine treats the symptoms not the root cause. Root cause is much too deep - as a society we are plagued with dysfunctional behaviours. You see it all over the world. We have created our own world and only we can change it. Each one of us must
do our own work. Depression is from suppressing our higher self and believing ourselves to be something we are not. You are unique, there never was and never will be another you. So spend time and discover your unique and innate talents and share them with the world.
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Q: How do I increase my self confidence?
A: Through self awareness - stop believing in what people tell you about your self and most of all stop listening to your inner critic that holds you back. You are perfect as you are so stop covering yourself up with all the negative things you believe yourself to be.
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Q: Which according to you is the right way to meditate?
A: There is no right way - meditation really means being one with the present moment. One can walk and be one with the nature. Initially when one is taking the path of meditation, it is important to sit straight or lie on your back. The important thing is to feel presence in every cell of your body.
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Q: Who do you think is more spiritually inclined, men or women?
A: Both - we need to find the balance of our yin and yang energy within us.
The yin will show us the devotion and yang will show us the courage to dive deep within.
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Q: I am very depressed. Please help and advice, what should I do?
A: First and foremost, stop living in the past - it is no more - you have the power right now to make a difference. Living in the past makes us depressed. Past is like a dream. When you wake up from your sleep, you don't hold on to your dreams and get depressed. Same way let go of the past - loose the stories you tell yourself about you and
create something new. Find things you love to do - I know you can do it. Don't waste your precious life in the past.
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Q: Which methods do you think will help us break free of the barriers that we have installed on our higher self? How useful is meditation in that?
A: Meditation is a tool that helps you to create space between your thoughts
- this calms the mind. It is through the space one can tap into the higher self - it has been said that it is the space between the bars that keeps the tiger imprisoned. Increase the space and free your self. Your higher self is your true teacher - take a small step and your higher self will guide you to the best teachings that are tailored just for you.
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